It has been another milestone week down at West Perth exploration hopeful Sub-Economic Resources NL (ASX Code; SUE), with the intrepid explorer once again the talk of the town.
“Hardly a day goes by without SUE making the headlines”, said the company’s public relations adviser, “which is a good job as without regular media coverage we would neither be able to charge the company exorbitant fees nor continue to wine and dine the press gallery”
The big news this week from SUE concerned the gala black-tie opening of the company’s new corporate advisory service offering – to be named SUE-YOU.
“We should have done this several years ago” said SUE chairman Paul Kingsley, “a corporate advisory practice offers SUE directors the opportunity to get paid a great deal more for doing even less: What’s more is that SUE-YOUM is all set to achieve that near-term performance goal for us rapidly”
Invitations for the opening of SUE-YOU included a draft term-sheet for advisory services printed in 6-font gold-embossed small-print lettering on the back.
Strictly Boardroom is therefore able to reveal the following exclusive introductory GULLIBLE-PLUSM corporate advisory offer is now available to new and existing SUE-YOU clients under an exclusive mandate:
- Zero up-front SUE-YOU advisory services at a discounted fee of just $20,000 per month payable on execution of the exclusive services agreement.
- From the commencement of the month before appointment, a one-off but recurring monthly fee of just $15,000 – with the first month prior to appointment free under the GULLIBLE-PLUS offer now available for a short period only.
- A low 6% fee applies to any investment made into the client company originating from parties introduced by SUE-YOU under the exclusive GULLIBLE-PLUS offer – fees also apply exclusively of all parties previously known to the client company. SUE-YOU will also retain the exclusive right for a period of 24 months from any termination of the mandate to act as advisor to any future business dealings undertaken by the client company and all parties introduced via SUE-YOU as defined above.
- Cost-plus 5% reimbursement of all SUE-YOU unreasonable business expenses to include all credit card disbursements, business airfares for flights over 30,000 feet, long lunch receipts, telephone, carrier pigeon, emails, tweets and colour printing. Administration and handling charges will be capped at $2000 a month – with approval required for any single expense exceeding this figure.
- Upon signing, all new GULLIBLE-PLUS clients will also be eligible to receive a free SUE trademark-embossed pen with full insignia delivered in the month after the commencement of any SUE-YOU mandate (subject to availability, administration & handling charges).
- SUE-YOU clients will be required to enter into an exclusive ‘grandfather’ clause – under which the directors of SUE-YOU will sell their respective grandfathers – and also grandmothers to clients.
SUE Chairman Paul Kingsley said his new advisory arm SUE-YOU would offer great benefits to its clients including huge cost savings compared to the advisory mandate terms offered by rival, more established corporate advisory firms.
“Those advisors carry a very large weighty overhead” said Kingsley – “whereas with SUE-YOU you have only a small number of beneficiaries with our overheads fully back-charged to the client under our GULLIBLE-PLUS advisory package”
Kingsley concluded that “It’s a win-win: The client saves money – we make far more money – and the client gets the same complete lack of service as they would receive from a mainstream corporate advisor”.
Allan Trench is not a director of Sub-Economic Resources NL