As his New Year hangover slowly recedes, the Metal Detective is glad he doesn’t have to fly to a dusty mine site to pilot a haul truck.

Luckily for MD, there is no law against writing a column while under the influence, unlike driving a car or operating heavy machinery.

So he is not surprised some fly-in, fly-out workers are going to extreme lengths to pass drug tests when they lob back to work.

Fake samples would seem to be at the top of the shopping list for those worried about the lingering influence of their Christmas festivities.

WA testing laboratories claim that one in 200 workplace urine samples contain synthetic or dehydrated human urine, the West Australian newspaper reported last week.

And there are websites selling all manner of stuff to assist in this practice.

Along with a bottle of the fake yellow stuff, the dedicated piss artist can procure a heat pack to ensure his or her sample is warm enough to fool the testers.

Online retailer Aussie Detox, for instance, sells two versions of phony urine.

For $85 you can enjoy Quick Fix, a synthetic “premixed laboratory urine designed to protect your privacy” during a drugs test; or $70 gets you Urine Luck Additive, a “chemical solution, which destroys drugs metabolites in the urine”

But male workers intent on using a fake penis as part of their masquerade will need to look further afield: Aussie Detox doesn’t sell these contraptions, which are available offshore.

One site offers a flexible 4-inch plastic member that includes an “internal proprietary valve” along with a three-foot tube connected to a fluid bag hidden elsewhere on the body.

The mind boggles.

MD had no idea that faking bodily fluids had reached such absurd heights.

He assumes cyclists in the Tour de France use various mischievous methods to fool the guys in white coats.

But what’s good enough for athletes in lycra is now apparently good enough for out-of-shape chaps in fluorescent shirts on the FIFO run.

Of course, it is easy to chuckle at the lengths some people will go to mask the evidence of their offsite partying.

But drug testing is a serious safety issue amid concerns that standards may have become too lax in the wake of a skills shortage that has made it harder for management to find workers.

And, as we launch into a new year, some industry bodies are worried that saliva-only tests proposed under the new national mining regulations will greatly increase safety risks.

The regulatory model, developed under the auspices of Safe Work Australia and the National Mine Safety Framework, would require “majority consent” from a workforce before an employer could implement a drug and alcohol testing system based on anything other than saliva.

The model has attracted flak from the Australian Mines and Metals Association, which commissioned research that showed saliva tests are “far inferior to urine testing”

Only urine sampling can reliable detect extreme “hangover effects” of various drugs that may be impairing a worker’s performance, the AMMA argues.

The WA Chamber of Minerals and Energy is also wary of the push to saliva methods.

"Urine testing is still the best way to test for banned substances and until saliva testing is as reliable, companies will continue to use it," CME acting chief executive Nicole Roocke said.

For employees to devise ways to cheat urine tests is “incredibly disappointing,” she added.

The unions, meanwhile, claim that saliva offers a better indicator of whether someone has consumed drugs in the past 24 hours.

The problem with urine tests, say the unions, is they can pick up traces of marijuana consumed weeks earlier.

So a “positive” test may prejudice a worker, even though he or she may be perfectly capable of carrying out the job safely.

Interestingly, the new regulations could also limit the usage of breath-testing, which seems to have found a niche on most sites over the years.

Quite a few sites offer self-testing where, if a worker “shows numbers” after blowing in the bag, he can take a day off without pay: a good result for a worker suffering the effects of a one-off binge but fuel for disciplinary action if it becomes a habit.

MD can only hope that a sensible, and workable, solution is arrived at for onsite testing.

And for those mine workers intent on using counterfeit urine to dupe drug testers, here’s a novel suggestion: drink, smoke and snort less when you’re off the job.

Sounds like a familiar New Year’s resolution.

This story first appeared on ILN's sister publication MiningNews.net.